You've beaten alien invaders, killed armies of orcs, fought elite terrorist fighters and overcome the greatest challenges in video gaming. Except one.
The Office Simulator is the ultimate in ultra-realistic gaming excitement. Guide your character around a succession of levels in which you must pit your wits and cunning against the most terrible foes in the modern neocapitalist system.
From your ergonomically-adjustable office chair, enter a world of jammed printers, spilled tea and PowerPoint presentation deadlines. Feel the excitement of battling desperate, snarling colleagues for control of the thermostat. Master spreadsheet formulas and make gamechanging decisions; caffeinated coffee or decaf?
Mission-based gameplay keeps you in it for the long haul. Start in a small, backstreet taxi office where you're the sole staff member and have total autonomy on decisions relating to your email signature, and work your way right up to a multinational corporation with a resident dog, lunchtime asana yoga sessions and employer-matched pension contributions!
The cabinet is based around an enormous LCD screen. Ergonomic turntable chairs recreate the feel of a real office. Control your character with the trackball and backlit buttons in the main console. An LCD and fluorescent sodium light display recreates the average office ambience and gives players that trademark grey, borrowed flesh effect.
An immersive 5.1 surround sound system - similar to the systems fitted to the latest pinball machines - recreates all the office sounds you know and hate. The tapping of keyboards, the ringing of phones, the monotonous descriptions of Tracy from Accounts' recent holiday in Benidorm, looped into infinity.
Your simulator will be delivered to your address by a delivery team who are playing a delivery team simulator.
Please expect a call from our delivery schedule team who are playing through a delivery schedule team simulator.
If you experience any delivery problems, please call our customer services team on 0800 612 8180. Our CS team is playing a customer services simulator and therefore any assistance or advice given to you may be wrong, dangerous or stupid.